day 264: and so it begins

Instead of having a large going-away party I'm having small intimate gatherings with close friends. It allows me to spend some quality time with my dear friends before I leave. Sandy and Adrian invited me over for green chili stew and fajitas. For dessert we enjoyed an apple strudel with an apple, raisin & walnut topping. It was absolutely delicious. We, or rather I, cried to Marley & Me. That movie is so sad.
Doesn't Sandy look absolutely beautiful in these pictures? She has a certain glow. Could it be that's she's expecting?? Yes! I will be an auntie once more. Congratulations to Adrian and Sandy. I'm so happy for you!
GG's foreva!

day 256: 3.5 - the breaking point

This was the breaking point. I haven't posted anything since this day, because this day was so exhausting. I needed some time to come to terms with my decision. It was the beginning of October and for the few days before I was thinking of moving to NM. If I made the decision it was gonna be today. I had to give a 30 day notice to my manager. My roommate gave me his notice a few days earlier and said he would be moving to Colorado.
Factors in my decision were:
finances: I'm losing so much money by living in LA, and if I'm still unemployed at the end of my unemployment insurance, I'm not sure what I will do.
looking for another roommate: I figured my luck of finding another cool roommate was running out, between Duane and Lucas, I was very fortunate.
the rising unemployment rate: the national unemployment rate is 9.8%. I always forget that the beginning of the month starts with bad news.
holidays: most companies don't hire through the holidays (even when  the economy is good)
potential jobs: I had three potential jobs and didn't get any of them. This was a definite blow to my confidence.
my car: I've had some recent car problems... I swear, when it rains it pours. 
the moon: maybe a little bit of the full moon came into play. :P 
stress: each day I'm losing a little bit of myself: my confidence, my sanity, and my happiness.

I was so stressed I worked out 3.5 times (0.5 is the brisk walk): I ran 3 miles in the morning, rode my bike down to Redondo beach, came home had lunch and rode to Bel-air and then around midnight I took a brisk walk to Fairfax and back. The picture above is one I took in the morning: before the meltdown, before I made the decision. The photos below are in Manhattan Beach.

A huge "Thank you" goes out to Mark and Tim for making sure I was ok. I know it must have been scary for you, but thank you for talking to me so late at night. Thank you for being my friends.

 

day 200: intent

I've been reading/researching various ideas, people and projects. I've realized that I have not focused on one area. I've notice that people who are successful give their all (heart and soul) to one project. From hear on out I'm doing that, and I realize with this photo-a-day blog that I'm not letting you in on the bad times: allowing myself to be vulnerable. I thought, "who wants to read about a depressing day where I'm stressed out?" Who wants to know that "Inconsistencies on your form" is such a vague statement on the f-ing unemployment notice?

Being unemployed sucks. It sucks ass. It's fun for about a week. After a month there's one major meltdown. You've strategized, punched the numbers, but life happens and you can't predict it. You question all of the choices you've made. There's doubt that creeps into your mind about your talent and abilities. It sucks. Some days are better than others, and sometimes it comes down to a few good hours. I will say that it brings out a good human trait, and that's taking care of each other, whether it's financial or emotional. So many people are willing to open their hearts to you. It's absolutely amazing.

I keep thinking that when I look back on this time, I want to say that I accomplished so many personal goals, but sometimes those goals are clouded by living day-to-day. It's hard to look long term. A year from now seems faraway and ten years? I can't even fathom it. As each day passes you hope that you're inching closer to the end of this chapter in your life, but then the news reminds you that this will be longer than anyone expected.

The good part, if you can call it that, is that there are others out there in the same boat. It's comforting and discomforting. At least you have people to confide in and go places with. Talking to friends who have jobs is awkward. They want to bitch about their jobs, but are quickly reminded to be thankful they have a job. Employers are pushing them to the limit and employees are doing it in fear of losing their job.

I am thankful there are unemployment benefits, one doesn't start the job force to think that they'll be unemployed. I am happy that this nation takes care of the unemployed, if not our health.

day 175: meltdown 2.0

Not having a job: SUX. I wish I could ctrl-z some things in my life.

day 138: we're gonna party like it's your birthday

carla & mike
jamie & ritch
nick
jamie & angie

After Friday's trip to Solvang and sitting in the sun all day, I came home and crashed at 5pm. Today, I woke up at 6am, went for a swim and a hike. After my hike I went to help Carla prepare for her BarBQ. I was asked to be in charge of entertainment, so I had a photo booth and asked Angela to bring her Karaoke mic. These are some of the images from the photo booth. There are over 200 images and I still need to proof them before I publish them. It will take me a couple of days, but here's a sample. Thanks to everyone who participated, and a special thanks to Carla for hosting such a wonderful party. Happy Birthday!

More photos are available here.

day 109: huntley

Jamie, Ritch and I went to the Penthouse Restaurant in Santa Monica on Friday. The Penthouse Restaurant is at the top of the Huntley Hotel. It's on Second street north of Wilshire Blvd. I first visited the Huntley with Sandy & Adrian for Adrian's Birthday a few years ago. At that time it was 70s interior, but not 70s swank...bad 70s. A few years ago they remodeled the bar and opened it up, and voila it's a trendy new bar which is great for people watching. It's a mixture of the LA trendy crowd, local swanksters, and tourists. I highly recommend the Mojito, it's one of the best Mojitos I've had, but you're gonna pay for the quality. $$$ Check out the last stall in the bathroom. It has the best view of Santa Monica...absolutely amazing.

This is a picture of Lola, Jamie's dog. Isn't she the cutest thing?

day 077: series of intersecting lives and incidents

I'm reminded by my friend, Amy, that bad things happen in threes. one: lost job, two: identity fraud, three: hit & run. I do hope this is the end of it.

Today feels like that scene from Benjamin Button, when Daisy was hit by the car. Everything had to happen in order for me to be hit by that red car, accident or design, it had to happen. I don't know the particulars about the other people involved: the guy in the car, the guy in the Dooley truck, the 10-year-old girl on the Razor scooter, or the two EMTs. I know that for me, I had to have an extra cup of tea this morning. I usually only have one cup, but opted for two. Firefox crashed and I had to reopen all the windows again. I forgot to put on sunscreen and ran back upstairs to lather it on. I decided to read one more chapter in my book at the park. Waiting in line at the Post Office, the AC forced me to put on my sweat jacket which protected me from more scrapes. The Dooley Truck that took up most of the road made me slow down. The ambulance had to be stuck in traffic just a few cars back from where the collision occurred. I had to notice the girl on the Razor scooter whisking down the sidewalk as I passed her and that red car had to make that left hand turn as I was about to ride straight.

And if only one thing had happened differently: If that Dooley truck was in the other lane or that girl on the Razor left 2 minutes earlier, I could've been under the car, the little girl could've been hit by that car or the red car could've made a left turn without hitting anyone. "But life being what it is - a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone's control:" I was hit by that car and fell to the ground with the little girl on the Razor scooter coming to my side and asking if I was ok. The EMTs quickly tending to my scrapes and the that guy in the red car rolling down his window to ask if I was ok, only to drive away without an answer.

It's strange what you think of during an accident. The first thought that came to my mind when the EMTs asked to clean the wound was "I should have shaved my legs this morning." For some reason everything else was a blur, but that thought is vivid.

day 068: Topanga State Park

I don't know why digital cameras don't charge the same way cell phones do. I forgot to grab my battery from the charger this morning. So this pic was taken with my cell phone. :(

This is a beautiful trail in Topanga State Park. Adrian, Sandy, Fish, Amery, Jacob and myself woke up early this morning to go for a quick hike.

After we had bagels in the Pacific Palisades and ran into Chris Rock. Amery was trying to tell us that it was him, but Amery is usually bullsh***ing. He's the boy who cried wolf, so most of us did not believe him. hahaha

UPDATE: I wanted to add this, but thought some might find it unsettling...for those of you who are devoted readers, if you find this...it's like a hidden easter egg. :)

day 062: Bar-B-Q

The last of the Pisces birthdays has come, we celebrated Adrian's birthday on Saturday night/Sunday morning. As always Sandy and Adrian had a wonderful selection of food and drinks. We talked, played Cranium, poker and partied in to the early morning.

Happy Birthday, Adrian!

day 060: meltdown

Friday was meltdown day. I need to find a job.

Thank you to all of my supportive friends and family. I wouldn't be able to deal with this if it weren't for you.

day 057: Texas A&M Aggies

I know, I catch up and then I get behind.

On Tuesday, I hung out with Adrian and Sandy's niece, Valerie, and her friend, Mallory. They're on their spring break from Texas A&M. We went to the Bonnie Hunt show and then to Robertson Blvd, but didn't see any celebrities. This was taken at the Chanel store. It's a great space for a party, but I'm not convinced of the retail aspect. I forgot my camera, so it taken was with my crappy cell again, sorry.

After we met A&S for some St. Patty's day spirits at the Beanery.

day 055: sunny days sweeping the clouds away

on my way to where the air is sweet...
Today was a beautiful day in Los Angeles. This morning, I had plans to join Sandy, Adrian, Valerie and Mallory at the Farmer's Market in Santa Monica/Venice. And I ended up going to the wrong Farmer's Market. hahaha... only me, I know. By the time I found the correct Farmer's Market, it was closing up, so I raced around for some fresh beets. mmmmm We walked Venice Boardwalk, and I was freaking hot because I layered up. It was a beautiful day to be at the beach.

Then I raced over to the La Brea Tar Pits to celebrate with Bianca and friends. I have so many Piscean friends, I love it. This park is perfect for a picnic and hanging out with friends. Lunch was a wonderful assortment of pasta, Roscoe's Chicken, spring rolls, pita/hummus, cuties, brownies, igloo shaped cupcakes and ice cold orangina. Kids provided entertainment, parties are always better with kids. :) Happy Birthday, Bianca.

day 040: memories

I'm scared of what people are going to write. I could never run for public office and I know that. In fact some of the memories created recently are enough to ruin anyone's career. hahaha

Leave one memory that you and I share, the first thing that pops into your mind will do. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send an e-mail message, but leave a comment here. Next, re-post this in your notes and see who leaves a memory for you..

day 017: twenty-five

Ha! By George, I’ve got it! I knew I did this before!!
Here are 10 random things about me....well, I will try to delve deeper into randomness.

1. I learned to drive when I was 10 years old on a stick shift. It was in my dad’s old white truck with a pillow behind me on dirt road.
2. I love scary movies, but always regret going to them when I’m in the theater. I can make an entire theater scream.
3. I believe in Astrology. Sun: Pisces, Moon: Leo, Ascending: Leo, Chinese: Wood Rabbit
4. I studied Architecture extensively, but now realize that I strongly dislike the profession. I love proportions, materials and experiencing space, but hate waterproofing, nominal sizes of structural members, and codes, etc.
5. I’m getting laid off. My last day of work will be 02.13.2009. If you didn’t know anyone affected by the tanking economy, now you do. It’s another reason for my dislike of architecture. The construction industry is the first hit when there is a recession. I see it as an opportunity to find out what it is that I want to do with my life. I’m thankful for all my friends and family who have been supportive.
6. I’m scared to get on the escalator without holding onto the rail. I know. I discovered this at a Clippers’ game. With food and a drink in my hands, I halted at the bottom as a line of people mounted up behind me. I had to ask the guy behind me to hold my drink. My friend was laughing. I’m scared that I’m gonna loose my balance and fall on my a$$, strange I know.
7. I’ve been to some amazing Hollywood Parties and will maybe document them some day. The best was with Owen Wilson, of what I remember...
8. Through the years I have acquired many “cheesy prom poses” pics. Thank you, Clara.
9. I randomly donate money to people training for philanthropic endurance events, because I know how difficult it is to fundraise. I leave the simple message “pay it forward, please.”
10. I stood up to my boss when I saw injustice, even when I was on the fortunate side, but I don’t know if I would do it again. It was too draining.
11. I’ve planned two weddings and overseen three wedding days. I would like wedding planning if it weren’t for the brides. hahaha
12. I always have to look-up the definitions for conscious and conscience. I can never remember which is which.
13. When I was young my friend and I went to the mall. We quickly changed direction and I tripped over a little kid. The mom immediately said, “You f-ing Navajo. Go back to the reservation.” That memory has stuck with me my entire life. I think about that little kid who grew up with that belief, and wonder if he has the same belief as his mom. It taught me to speak out against discrimination.
14. I love the midnight screenings of movies. It’s the true fans who show up. Some of my favorite memories are Attack of the Clones (when the lights turned off it was a sea of blue lightsabers) and Spider-man 2 & 3 (Tobey Maguire showed up for both of them)
15. I’ve been known to watch a football game with the guys and then watch a chick flick with the girls on the same day.
16. My favorite karaoke songs are “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and “Love is a Battlefield”...oh and “Pour Some Sugar on Me.”
17. I ran a marathon, cycled a half century (actually my longest ride is 80 miles) and I hope to ride a full century and participate in an olympic length triathlon soon.
18. I come from a large family, well, not my immediate family. I have one brother and two sisters. My dad had four brothers and five sisters. My mom has four brothers and three sisters. I grew up with many cousins who I call my brothers and sisters.
19. I gave up coffee two years ago and it was the hardest habit to break: the headaches, withdrawals, and irritability. I give thanks to my friends and co-workers for understanding.
20. I had my tonsils taken out when I was 7.
21. My dad passed away when I was 20, too young for both of us.
22. I’m usually laughing and have had friends seek me out after a movie, because they heard me laughing.
23. I studied the history of the gaze and how perspective has changed from antiquity. I love finding devices that affect perception: the camera obscura, dioramas, spectacles, etc.
24. I learned how to find myself in India.
25. I love my relationship with my mom right now. I see her as more than my mom, and I think she sees me as more than her daughter.